“Comparison is the thief of joy”
Did you know that everything you consume is a choice?
Sometimes it seems in a society where every and any piece of anything be it what your classmate from high school did over the weekend as a story on instagram, thousands of tweets about the debate from the other night scrolling through twitter, what your sister’s best friend’s grandma thinks about one of her grandchild’s choir performances as a video on facebook, food by Uber Eats, Postmates, and grub hub, or the date, weather, time and name of a song via Alexa, a new hydro flask lid by amazon later that day, current events from all over the world, music, movies, tv shows thank you Netflix, or commercials on tv, always about some kind of product you can buy to make yourself a better you, are all so readily accessible that it seems like we have no choice but to consume it. Have you ever stopped to consider what happens if you simply choose not to?
I’ve seen this post shared by a couple different people on instagram via their story. And there is nothing wrong with it. It’s a great thought actually. Thought provoking you might say. Which is exactly what it was for me. Here’s what the post said: “Imagine a world where women are introduced to exercise as a means to build strength, muscle, and confidence, instead of a means to be “thin”, and taught that nutrition is more about health, longevity, and actually being nourished rather than just being “skinny”. Radical, I know. “ This was posted by @coachdannym - Coach Danny Matranga, CSCS
This is great, right? Someone telling women it’s not our fault we think in such weird ways about food and fitness and an ideal image. Right?
As I read this post I wasn’t immediately swept up in this yes finally somebody said it I feel better, because I wasn’t okay being told it’s okay you were a victim of the media. Because I’m not. But it did make me question how many people out there truly believe that and what things they were consuming that made them accept these ideas without another thought and have it cause so much hatred towards themselves that now it even feels like its not okay to want to work out and be thinner because you just need to love yourself the way you are. We are the generation of #selflove as long as it still fits in with what the media says self love is.
When I was considering what was being consumed to give people these thoughts and ideas immediately things like fashion magazines and photoshop, instagram and influencers, movies, music and Hollywood was what came to mind as to where an “ideal body image” came from.
My first question is, when you think about opening a fashion magazine or looking at fashion models what are you looking to find? Are you looking at the latest trends in fashion and colors that are up and coming, hairstyles you like and don’t like, what is coming back in style: flare or skinny jeans? Or are you looking to compare what you look like to what you see in a photoshop doctored magazine?
Or when a post from an influencer you follow shows up on your feed are you there for the information they are sharing or again what they look like in the best photo situation probably attempt number 357 to make this photo the absolute best?
Or when you watch Hollywood award shows, are you watching hoping to see an actor or actress you look up to win an award for their work on film or in music or art they have made or are you watching to keep up with the drama of a world you do not live in and people with amounts of money your probably cannot even begin to fathom who were dressed and made up by professional make up teams and wishing you could look like that?
Are you happy after you consume these things? And I don’t mean smile on your face that post is so aesthetically pleasing, the outfits were pretty, so-and-so is so funny, wistful sigh and it’s gone.
I mean do you feel joy?
Because if you don’t, is it worth consuming?
This all stemmed from my personal gratitude for the gospel and it’s teachings that I felt after I read that post I came across on my Instagram. The older I get the more grateful I am that I had parents who taught me how to recognize right and wrong and gave me a desire to cling to the presence of the Holy Ghost.
I’m grateful I had a mom who always worked out and found the importance of being healthy and was always able to play with us as kids and be active with us. I’m grateful she never told me “oh you should put make up on before you leave the house”, “you should work out, lose some weight” or “be thinner”. I cannot imagine what it would be like to have the one person who is supposed to love you unconditionally tell you you don’t fit in with societies beauty standards. So demand better role models or demand better of your role models, or maybe change your perception of what a role model is. Maybe you hear the word role model and you immediately think “someone who looks the way you want to” instead of someone who has morals and standards that will help you get to the goals you are trying to achieve.
Playing the victim doesn’t get you very far in life, so instead of being okay with someone telling you it’s not your fault for the types of things you are consuming, make a conscious choice to consume things that bring you joy.
Don’t get me wrong, this is not easy, but it is a conscious choice you can choose to make.
D&C 11:13
Alma 36:20
Moses 5:10-11
D&C 101:36
2 Nephi 2:25*
John 16:22*
2 Nephi 27:30
Psalm 37:11
Proverbs 15:21