Feeling time

Some days I swear I can feel time. 
Sometimes it’s slipping away and sometimes it’s never ending. 
The repeatability of the monotony makes it feel like my life is disappearing and I’m missing out. On what? I’m not exactly sure, just that there’s something better out there. 
But how can that be, just yesterday I was looking at my life thinking how does it get better than this? 
Just yesterday I was feeling like I didn’t have enough time in a day to do all the amazing things I want to do. I was doing so much I couldn’t keep up. 

Plot twists to keep things interesting. 

Sometimes there’s a deep pull at my gut. The beginning of the sickest feeling of “this is life”. That sequence in a movie. Where the character is standing  in one spot with an emotionless expression as their background changes. Waking up, brushing their teeth, commuting to work, at work, eating dinner, laying in bed and it’s all the same. Day after day after day. It’s frightening and overwhelming and makes my mind shut off. 
My body says “Nope. Sorry. We can’t think about that right now.”
Because if you do the only way your body knows how to cope is to shut down, and you have things to do. 
So you sift through the thick feeling of time and focus on what’s directly in front of you. What’s next? Get on the train to head to work. Focus on the tasks for the day and hope your mind forgets this awful feeling. 

All I know is this feeling is scary as hell and very very real, and if you focus on it you’ll feel like you’re drowning. So you have to find a new focus. 

It’s wild to me how quickly you can flip. Two days ago I felt like I was seeing so many new things, exploring, trying, growing, and I was exhausted, but a good exhausted and several hours later I feel the exact opposite. 

Anyone else?