Rookie Season: Part I & II

Part I

Kaposvar, Hungary
January 14, 2020

It was a long time coming getting to this point! After deciding to finish my senior year after getting Tommy Johns Surgery I also decided that meant I was going to play pro, and I planned on going in January. My season at Utah ended early December, got Christmas with the fam and then it was just pure stress. Firstly, trying to decide on an agent. It’s great to have a network of people to help you move forward, but it’s also just added pressure. I felt like I had to go with the agent who had connections with people close to me. The morning I signed with my agent there were definitely tears. But it worked out and I am still very happy with my decision!

So, Step one, done!

Next, find a team.

After a couple weeks of trying to get in touch with clubs during “holiday season” we finally found a team. 1MCM-Diamont Kaposvar, Hungary.
I was going half way into the season so I was only going to be there until May, about four months. 
Four months was manageable.
I thought I had some idea of what this was gonna be like, and I mean I did a very basic idea, but talking about it and living it were two very different realities. The first week was just full of changes. I spent the first three nights in a hotel, and practiced the first full day I was there. We were off and running right away. 
And boy was it hard. 

There were four foreigners plus me. Three of them were from Serbia and one was from Croatia, but they all spoke Serbian; the rest of the team was Hungarian. I thought I was good on my own, but I had never been so lonely before. The girls were nice, but they all just had their own lives already and their routines. They would chat with me and check in at practice and at lunch but for the most part they didn’t want to speak much English and I don’t blame them at all. It just made it a little more lonely. 

Now I expected training to be a tougher than I was used to, but again I was shocked. We typically had two practices a day and they were not short. The morning practice usually wasn’t as long as the evening practice. Maybe two to two and a half hours, but the evening practice was always three hours, sometimes more. A lot of times our day off was still a lift day and there was no such thing as a light lift. I will admit I got stronger and was jumping high enough to be hitting over the block, but I felt like I was dead. And it’s not like we did chill skill work that could be a little slower paced to give a sense of a break with two practices a day but every single practice was so freaking intense. 

So you’d think the one good thing about being so tired was I didn’t have enough energy to be sad about being lonely but my release for when things are a lot, is tears. There were one or two practices with tears. I’d like to think I am used to it, because that’s how Ive been my whole life, but I felt so beyond embarrassed and ashamed for those practices. I was 22, why is this still happening. Those days made me stronger though, pissed me off and made me better. So I can’t really be that mad about it. 

The whole experience was a huge challenge for me. On a lot of things I was used to being able to handle, but was broken down instead. I’ve never wanted to quit anything, until this. I wanted to break my contract several times.  

I made it two days shy of two months when covid sent me hauling a**, not even home just on the fastest flight back into the states before I was potentially stuck outside in Europe when the borders closed. The one and only moment I have had anything good to say about covid. 

Looking back there were so many emotions I felt about my time in Hungary. I wrote many times in my journal that I was done playing volleyball. I also wrote many times that I needed to remember how I felt because the minute I got home I knew I would downplay the way I was feeling about the experiences I went through. I knew I would get home and be angry at how I handled myself and tell myself I was being a baby and I should have been stronger, more mentally tough. Obviously I didn’t stop playing (hence the part 1) But looking back and having experienced a second chance at a rookie season, I had every right to feel the way I did. I do of course wish I would have been tougher and not wanted to go home, but that experience was hard. And I know I can do hard things, but that was hard. I also learned a lot about what I wanted for future teams/contracts and from where I am sitting now I am beyond grateful for that experience. 

I am also grateful my agent convinced me to play again as well as the people in my corner who knew I wasn’t gonna be done no matter how firmly I told them. 

Part II

Paris, France
October 2020

Covid has made the beginning of my professional career anything but easy. Especially for a life that is already quite challenging. So I wanted to just give a little insight, or as much insight as I can give with my 4 months worth of experience playing professional volleyball. 

First of all getting to France was a tragic mess. I needed a visa, which seemed impossible, due to covid no one was allowed into France so the Consulate wasn’t even issuing visas, the team or league or someone had to get the names of the athletes that were trying to come to France to work so we could get in touch with the consulate and start that process. Once that happened and I got an appointment with the consulate in California I had to fly to San Francisco during this lockdown to get to my appointment to start my visa process. From here on out was time sensitive due to covid. I got a call from the consulate telling me I had to book a flight within a week from this phone call because there was a special document that detailed my flight itinerary allowing me to enter France. So with permission from the consulate I booked a flight and sent them my flight details but I was still waiting to receive my visa and passport in the mail and on top of that I had to get a covid test and it had to be negative within 72 hours of boarding my flight. Well long story short my visa and passport did not arrive before my flight, so I had to cancel it and wait until the documents arrived. There were some angry emails exchanged with the consulate when I found out my documents had been lost and my departure was delayed even longer. Finally everything showed up and I had my negative covid test and was at the airport saying goodbye and checking my bags when United wasn’t going to let me go, because of all sorts of reasons that they could not explain to me. They were on the phone with people above them for a good hour as my departure time got closer and closer. Finally they told me they were gonna take a chance and let me go but there was a chance once I got to the airport in France they wouldn’t let me in. I figured if I could just get to France the club could figure it out from there. So I said thank you and was on my way. 

One stop in LA and then a 12 hour flight to Paris. 

P.S. to the lady from United I made it to France and there were no issues getting through the airport but thank you for the heart attack right before I left. 

I was picked up from the airport by a couple who are part of the administrative side of the club. Took me to the gym to meet the team and get some lunch and see my apartment. And then less than 6 hours later I was on my way to my first practice after getting off of a 12 hour plane ride. And barely two days later we were on a train to Quimper for our first preseason tournament. By the end of that weekend I had spent more time in a hotel than my own apartment. That first week or two weeks was such a blur! It took me about two weeks to actually see the Eiffel Tower in person but it was quite spectacular when I finally got there. It sounds ridiculous to say but it was wayyyy taller than I expected it to be. Not really sure what I was expecting height wise but it was unreal to see it. And every time I am out and about casually in the city getting food or on a bus or something and I see it I can’t help but smile because I’m here, living in Paris, for real.

A day in the life or week… (if you’re interested in our literal general schedule:)

Monday mornings depend on how the previous game went…
Sometimes it is a free morning, sometimes it’s a 2 and a half hour discussion.
Then we have practice in the evening. Tuesdays we have a lift in the morning and a practice in the evening. Wednesday morning we practice by position, setters, then middles, then pins, for the most part. Then we have the rest of the day off. (Before the lockdown a few of us would usually get together to get food and then go explore this amazing and huge city). 

On Thursday, we lift in the morning and practice in the evening. Friday, if we are away that weekend, and depending on how far away the game is we might practice once in the morning and then take a couple small vans or a train to the city we are playing in. Once we arrive we have dinner as a team and then we are free for the night. The next morning we have breakfast as a team, then video, then we head to practice, after we have lunch, a little bit later a snack, consisting of croissants, baguettes, jam, butter, yogurt, ham, cheese, coffee - combination is your choice,  and then we are off to the match. Again, depending on how far away we might leave after the game but if we came by train we won’t head home until the next day. If we are at home, on Friday we have video and then a practice and the rest of the day free. Saturday we have a serve and pass type of practice in the morning and then typically the games are around 8pm but due to covid the times have been moved to about 4:30/5pm. And Sunday’s we have free (possible travel day)! That is when we do most of our exploring (pre-covid). 

And that is pro life!

Lots of random free time that I am filling with creative projects and lots of Netflix! Exciting things coming! Especially now that I have EVEN MORE time locked in my apartment, thank you covid. 

Stay tuned!

Check out Paris Monthly for the rest of the season! 
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